How to Make Friends in Your 20’s

I have such a fun post for y’all today!

Remember Jess? You know, my uber cool friend who somehow still likes me despite my homebody grandma personality? She also wrote here before about Treating Your Self, which if you’re not doing already you need to start Immediately!

Also to answer the wedding questions, no we don’t have a date (but possibly our venue so it’s tbd very soon, eek!) also no I haven’t looked at dresses or caterers or wedding favors or anything else you want to ask me about. Wedding planning is awesome and fun but choosing is hard. First world problems yo….

Anyway, without further ado, take it away Jess!

How to make friends in 20s

Hey Everyone!
It’s been a while since I have written for Kelsey, and to be honest, she asked me to do this in August but I’m such a procrastinator that I didn’t get it done…hence the reason I will never be a real blogger. But anyways, since you’ve last heard from me (a year ago) I have gone from traveling job that had me hopping place to place, to permanent job at an amazing hospital in Seattle, WA. I could not be happier with my decision to land in this city, even with it being so far away from my New England home. Which is what brings us to today’s topic: tips for making new friends in your 20s and beyond.  This can be a hard thing to do, but it is possible, and hopefully this will help!

Disclaimer: I am an extrovert, and kind of pride myself on bringing introverts out of their shells when I can. So if you are an extrovert, these will be tips on how to work it, and for all you introverts, hopefully this will help you feel more comfortable out of your shell.

Focus on your interests

By the time you are 24, most people know what things they are interested in whether it be fitness, reading, outdoor adventures, board games, computer games, dancing, and general debauchery. You at least have an idea of what makes you happy and like to do. And if you like it, I can guarantee that there is someone else out there who likes those things too.  So do your research online, talk about the things you like to do with coworkers, if you see someone doing something you like, go talk to them (if they give you a weird look, who cares, you are just being friendly) Also, I highly recommend the website meetup.com for groups that get together to do said interests.

Say yes

This is my number one go to rule. It’s the most proven (personally at least) way to meet cool people and form amazing friendships. If you get an invitation that sounds interesting, just say yes. Whether it be an invite to a party full of people you may not know, out to a drink with someone you’ve only had a few conversations with before, or for a walk on a nice day (or in the rain too!) just say yes.
Simple right? ( the answer is YES!)

Be yourself

How do you expect to make authentic friendships if you aren’t being your authentic self? This is also a simple one.

Get out there!

Go! Out of your house! Grab someone and go somewhere, or go by yourself. Sit at the bar, eavesdrop and butt into interesting conversations (you know you are listening anyways). Go for a walk or run and stop to pet someone’s dog, social interaction is important. Even if these random encounters don’t go anywhere, they will get you more comfortable with talking to people, I’m looking at you introverts! Even if it’s out of your comfort zone, set a goal for even 1 time a week to get out of the house and do something social.

Use Connections

A friend of a friend could be your next BFF and you just don’t even know it yet. If there’s someone who you think you would hit it off with, don’t be afraid to use you connections, personal or digital, to reach out. I mean come on, I know you are Facebook and Instagram stalking them anyways.

Routine

Did you make a new friend that you want to make sure sticks around? Make dates, see each other, plan things, and then use each other to make even more awesome friends!

Give Zero Craps

Not to be rude here, which I am also not saying you should be, but seriously, the less you stress about what you are doing, or what you look like or are perceived as to other people, the easier it will be to complete any of the other steps. Know that you as you are right now, is an Awesome person, and go share that with the world. If you meet someone and they don’t see it, then it’s their loss.

So those are the general rules, I have been using these a lot recently, and have formed an amazing variety and strong groups of friends in Seattle, in just 7 months. So take the plunge, get yourself out there, and surround yourself with people as amazing as you!

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Small Town Fall Festival

Welcome to Wednesday Friends!

I finally got around to editing my photos from over the weekend. Not because I was too busy to do it of course. I only had a few episodes to go in the final season of Drop Dead Diva which of course took precedence over anything else in my life during my free-time. I’m what you can call a prioritization juggernaut.

Really the fact that I even have photos from that day is a victory. I usually either forget to take pictures, am too shy to ask anyone to take photos for me, or just plain forget my phone at home. It happens more often than I’d like to admit. I think my current record is having to turn back around three times for forgetting something. I’ve really got my ish together ya know?

Fall Festival

I was attempting to show you how awesome the solo cups I DIY’d into pumpkins looked on the trail but when the Sun was up you couldn’t really tell, as it got darker my photos turned out hazy like the one above and you still couldn’t tell, and once it got dark my phone couldn’t get a good photo. So this is what you’re left with…..

I am proud to report that I walked the haunted trail at least 7 times and was only scared for the first few. After that the kids knew when it was me and stopped trying to scare me. The final run through I filmed a few of the creepier scenes and got scared again but ya know, I’m alive and well so it all worked out 😀

So in case those last few sentences were confusing, or y’all just didn’t know, I’m still working a few hours a week at my local YMCA over some of their youth programs which includes the Teen Group aka Leaders Club. I’m the leader of the Leaders Club. So yea, Adulting.

I was also on the committee for the Festival, Though mostly because I had nothing else going on in my life at that point, not because I possess creative prowess. Oh and because there was free pizza at the meetings….thumbs up!

My portion didn’t happen until that night though so I convinced JB to come with me and invited his sister and family. We missed out on the hot air balloon rides by the time we got there but rumor had it that it was a bit too windy anyway so not many people go to do that.

I think the bets part was watching JB’s niece run around after the mascots. Here she is meeting one of her heros. No warm hugs were given though, she got scared as soon as Olaf got too close for comfort. Comfort levels are a bit different when you’re only  2 feet tall I guess. I wouldn’t know, I’ve always been at least 5 feet tall, just look at my awkward elementary school photos…..

Ty and Olaf

As obsessed as she is with Frozen (specifically Elsa), Elmo was probably her favorite. It took about 7 encounters before she would actually give him a high five and then two more for a hug, but when you spend an entire hour following him around, it wasn’t hard to “run” into him.

Also I don’t know if you can tell but she’s wearing an Elsa dress under her dinosaur hoodie. That kids got style and she’s already cooler than me.

She also went in a few of the bouncy houses and tossed some rings at the carnival games. At one point we (TY and I) challenged “Uncle” (JB) to a relay race and I thought I was gonna eat dirt after the dizzy bat portion. JB’s Brother in Law got it all on film but I have yet to see it so until I can, you don’t get that hilarious video of 6’5 JB racing 2ft tall Ty as I tip-toe behind her on the balance beam.

Our last stop was the pumpkin patch of course. Scratch that, Ty rode a pony and cried when she had to get off, but happy again when she got to pick out a pumpkin and leave with a goody bag. I think her dad was more excited though because he immediately pulled out a DumDum and ate it. That’s called Parenting done right.

Ty and Pumpkin

The pony ride definitely got the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. I think we all know what she’ll be asking for for the next decade of her life. You’re welcome for introducing that to her 😉

I did snap some “family” photos of everyone too but since she’s not my kid I don’t like sharing too much of her here. Judging from these photos, just the back of her head is. If you were to steal my phone and look through my picture roll you’d think she was my kid though. Or you’d think I was a creeper, which JB says I am so I’ll let you make up you own mind about what to call me.

I’m just gonna leave you with this photo that near about melted my heart to see….

JB and Ty

Seriously a kid and her Uncle may be the cutest thing ever, second only to a Dad and his little girl. specifically if that dad is my husband and the daughter is mine. I imagine that’s a pretty heart melt-y moment.

Have you been to a Fall Festival in your area yet?

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5 Things You MUST Do This Fall

Whoo! Welcome to October Friends!

October 5th, but still. It’s Fall and the weather has finally decided to cooperate around here. New England has the weirdest weather of anywhere I’ve ever lived. And seeing as how I’ve lived in all US geographic locations, I’m, somewhat of a weather expert…minus the expert part 😉

Anyway, since it’s fall and every other blogger on the planet will be compiling a Fall Bucket List, because we’re bloggers and it’s what we do, I’m throwing my list into the fray. What makes mine better than any other list you could possibly look at? Absolutely nothing! Seriously, all of these lists will be basically the same, something about leaves and pumpkins. Do me a favor and read mine anyway, if you comment I’ll send you an internet hug, and who doesn’t like hugs.

5 things to do this fall

1. Do something with Pumpkins. Drink em, eat em, pick em, take photos with em it doesn’t matter. Everyone knows Fall is the season of the pumpkin. Of course if you’re a communist and don’t like pumpkin then you can always substitute for apple. Just know if you do, you’re not really American AND your basic white girl card will be void.

2. Attend a Festival. Fall festival, food festival, beer festival, harvest festival, heck double points for a pumpkin festival! Go drink some cider, eat a donut, paint your face, ride the hay, play some games, toss the rings, win a prize, listen to the music, chuck the corn, pick the apples, kick the leaves, eat the food. Whatever your fancy there is a festival for you!

3. Drink hot beverages. Coffee, cider, hot chocolate, pick your poison and sip away. I prefer mine extra chocolate-y, heavy on the marshmallow, please and thank you 🙂

4. Host a Cookout/Dinner party. With the nice crisp weather comes perfect grillin weather. It doesn’t hurt that most sane people also love good food. (And if your friends don’t love to get together and eat than you need new friends.) Pair that with football, and you’ve got my favorite weekend activity! Of course only do this if you actually have the room for people over. I myself live in a studio apartment without even a couch so not really ideal to having anyone over….I take advantage of good friends who invite me over.

[Tweet “Looking for somethin to add to your Fall List? Here are 5 fun ideas!”]

5. Hike! Please for the love of everything holy in your life, do yourself and favor and get outside! Unless you live in Siberia (hey, hello!) nature is changing and you don’t want to miss it. Get off the internet, leave your car behind and get that booty moving outside. Besides think of all the awesome Insta content you can snap. The better to join my Instagram challenge with my dear.

So whatcha think? Have you done any of these things yet?

Better yet, how many Fall lists have you seen so far?

Tell me your favorite Fall activity!

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That Time I Tried to be Cool

Well it’s finally happened. I finally understand the obsession everyone had with Sex and the City growing up. I haven’t actually watched much of the show yet, I eased in with the Carrie Diaries (totally adorable btw)

Maybe it’s b/c I’m a single woman soon to embark into the wild unknown of the working world or perhaps my growing cynicism towards a happily ever after. Either way I can relate to Carrie going after her dreams and not letting those around her feel bad for what she wants. All while looking fabulous of course, duh.

Well today’s post isn’t about love or being single or going after one’s dreams, although if you stick around for any amount of time you’re bound to find posts on all of the above. Today I’ve got a story for y’all on how I attempted to channel my inner Carrie/Manhattanite and head out for some drinks with friends. (hint; it didn’t go well….)

tall boots in the leaves

I should back up slightly to give this story a bit of triumphant context instead of just tossing you into my utter failure of a social life.

I grew up in a pretty religious home and never even saw a drop of liquor until college. And even that was only one year, then I transferred to a religious college and didn’t see any again until after graduation and a move to Boston. Needless to say, I can never quite seem to find my bearings in situations involving alcohol no matter how “normal” I tell myself it is so I usually chicken out from invitations such as the one I’d been presented with.

BUT this time I decided to be cool and casual and meet up with my friends. I got ready and even put on lipstick….(the alien feeling has slightly worn off Kristen) However, as I alluded to earlier, it didn’t go as planned.

Let’s count the things that went wrong

things went wrong

It involved a bar. Um yea, I’d rather hide under the covers then be standing in a bar feeling like a Mormon out of water. Not to completely alienate myself from my wino friends though (love y’all!), people drinking around me isn’t what makes me uncomfortable. It’s being in places meant to cater to alcoholic beverages.  Like bars. I feel completely, utterly, and entirely out of my element.

It was raining and dark. As I’ve already let the cat out of the bag about how terrible my eyes are and rainy darkness equals not being able to see any of the lines on the road. Anyone with this problem can commiserate with how terrifying that can be….

There was no bar parking. This may not seem like a problem for you city dwellers, but anyone who grew up a Suburbanite knows the value of a parking lot. No need for parallel parking or a change purse full of quarters.

There was a basketball game. Again, maybe not a big deal for normal towns, but I live in Lexington, KY. Home of the UK Wildcats and current all around best college basketball dynasty in the country. To say the entire state of KY comes out for their games is an understatement. There were people EVERYWHERE. sidewalks, crosswalks, All the walks! Not to mention darting out in front of cars (hey no one said UK fans are bright #VFL)

SO defeated and on the verge of a collision with body or car, I went home……

at home reading

So much for my night of coolness. le sigh…I did however end up finishing three knitted headbands so I guess you could say I won in the end anyway 🙂

How was your weekend?

Do any of my irrational fears scare you too? (or am I alone on this one?)

Sig

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Linking up with Weekending & MIMM

Sisters Weekend

This weekend my sister (and favorite person) came to visit me!

She’s 8 years younger then me so we didn’t really spend a lot of time under the same roof once we actually became real ppl and not just kids. Because of this, or maybe despite this, we get along great and never (there was that one time) fight! It’s basically the perfect sister-bond-friendship. I love it.

sisters weekend

Isn’t she beautiful?

She came Friday and we immediately went shopping. Duh! After a little thrifting and getting stuck in downtown traffic like a nube, we grabbed some dinner and headed home for a movie night. We also painted our nails like proper gils at a sleepover, but when she painted mine I’m pretty sure she got more on her hands then my nails. We make quite the giggly pair….

coffee mug painted nails Saturday got off to a slow start but picked up when we I forced her to take copious amounts of photos for the BlonderSide. I also made her pose for me b/c, duh, she’s gorgeous and she was a good sport through the outfit changes and got rewarded with a Sonic run for slushes so really we both won.

Besides, she makes it look easy so she can’t really complain. See below for evidence….

DIY knitted headband

Yup, she’s the pretty one in the family 😉

The rest of the day was spent with more shoppin. She’s a terrible influence when it comes to spending my money. I somehow walked about with 4 sweaters, a scarf, and some new gloves when I hadn’t planned on buying anything! Thanks sis ;D

Sunday was another slow morning, but that’s what Sunday is for anyway right? Sadly this was also the day she left me, but it was a wonderful weekend with only 2.5 more weeks before I see her again for Thanksgiving!

What did you do with your weekend??

Also don’t forget, tomorrow is the last day to enter to win FREE money!

Sig

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Linkin up with MIMM & Weekending

Fourth Celebrations – The Secret Blogger Club Is In Session

Happy Monday and Welcome to the July Secret Blogger Club Meeting!!

Blonder Side of Life

I hope everyone had a great weekend celebrating with yummy food and crackly fireworks!

This month’s theme was Fourth of July Celebrations so it’s time to see who can one-up everyone else (kidding!) I had a nice a relaxed weekend with special guest Arthur. Hurricane Arthur that is. Friday was stormy all afternoon but I did get to see the cutest tiny human (aka JB’s niece I not so secretly claim as my own) that morning so it was plenty festive.

CodeTenIceCream

This is actually from a cafe in Boston’s South End not the place we ate Saturday….I eat a lot of ice cream….

Saturday we went to a friend’s for a little cook-out and corn hole. Followed up with a run to the farm stand for ice cream. And I don’t actually mean run…I mean we got in the car and drove, then consumed 3 giant scoops of Green Monster (aka mint oreo….yum)

Now before you leave I wanna introduce this month’s Co-Host, Kristen!! She writes over at See You in A Porridge and is perhaps the cutest thing in Blogland (no shame in admitting it either 🙂 )

KristenAbout

If you’d like to get to know her further (as any sane human would) make sure to read about her here, as well as her 30 before 30 list. Oh and she just got back from a visit home so if you’ve ever wanted to go to Australia she’s got a great recap post!

Now link-up and go become friends with Kristen (you can thank me later). Don’t forget to go give Suzan some love too. She’s not posting a live link-up with us today b/c she’s super busy having all the fun.

 

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Lessons From a 20-something

Hello and Happy Friday Lovelies! 😀

I promise I’m almost done responding to everyone wonderful comments from my post the other day. I never knew declaring my unpopularity would be so popular lol. So thank y’all again!!

I think by now we’ve all realized growin up isn’t all sunshine and rainbows…what’s that quote? “With great power comes great responsibility” (nerds of the universe unite!) so with all that “freedom” you dream of as a youth come a whole lotta not fun stuff too. Bills anyone?

Through all my trials and tribulations and a whole buncha fun (don’t get me wrong, growing up is more awesome than not) I have learned some valuable lessons as I’ve gotten older and I wanted to share a bit of the wisdom I’ve gleaned (thus far) from adulthood.

Lessons

Yes, that is a golden mustache 😉

-Dry shampoo is a girls best friend. Bed head is no longer acceptable or cute. This isn’t just 9am world history class your attending but your job. A place where you’re expected to look like a functioning and intelligent human being.

-Friday nights are not just for partying. Your social status is no longer dependent on what party you were at or how many dates you go on(as if it ever was Ms. Too-cool-for-school)…That doesn’t mean you still can’t have a good time though. Until you’ve rocked out on your couch in your pj’s and called it a night at 10pm you haven’t really lived.

-It’s ok if you don’t know what you wanna do with your life yet. 18 isn’t/wasn’t your prime, you’ve still got plenty more growing and learning to do. That doesn’t mean to put your future off, just don’t feel like you’re being left behind b/c you’re not.

-That being said, being unmarried at 24 doesn’t mean you’re destined for the life of a spinster cat-lady (thanks for all the pep-talks though married friends). I mean, I like cats and all, but there’s no denying boys are better. A good one will come your way I promise.

-No matter how old you get, you will still miss patches of hair on your legs when you’re shaving so just come to accept it….sigh

-Negative people aren’t worth your time. Some people weren’t meant to stay in your life forever, so don’t feel back to let some negative friendships go. There are plenty of fun and positive people that can take their place, trust me.

-Netflix is no replacement for good old fashioned friend time…though friend time that includes Netflix just might be the best Sunday afternoon activity known to man…well throw in some food and THEN it’s the best time ever.

Hopefully we all learned something today. Before I go though, I wanna introduce y’all to one of my lovely ladies over on my sidebar. I promised not to sell-out, not to remain friendless so sorry, not sorry! Anyway, Rebecca writes over at A Married Writer and is so adorable and just so happens to reside in my favorite state (TN for those that couldn’t guess). I had her answer some fun questions (I answered a few over on her blog if you’d like to continue cyber stalking me 😉 ) so y’all can get acquainted, but be sure to click on over to say hi as well.

RCPost

 

What made you start blogging?

I started blogging last January. I’m from California and I moved to Nashville to go to college. Once I graduated and got a job, I realized Nashville had become my permanent home. Because my family is so far away, the realization that I wasn’t just away at college anymore made me homesick. The fall before I started blogging I got engaged to my now husband and a blog felt like the best place to keep all my family in the loop about my life and my wedding planning. Since then, my blog has become a place of refuge for all my creative energy. I love writing and it has naturally grown into my little corner of the world where I can work on those writing skills.

What are some of your favorite posts?

I love looking back at some of my older posts to see how much I have grown as a writer and blogger. When my husband and I returned from our honeymoon I wrote a blog post about our experience climbing the waterfalls in Jamaica and how the challenge related to our new marriage. More recently I wrote a letter to Katy Perry about how to handle her breakup with John Mayer and a post about pimping out my kidney that was fun.

What is one thing you couldn’t live without?

Coffee. I have a serious addiction and I think I could single handedly keep Starbucks in business.

What is the theme song to your life?

I’d like to say it’s The Beatles Let It Be. I had the title tattooed on my wrist a couple of years ago to remind myself that when things get hard it’s best to just “Let it Be.” I have a chronic illness and often singing that song to myself made me remember that pain is only temporary. When I was very new to blogging I wrote a post about how that song changed my life.

Finally, give me two truths and a lie

1) I majored in Songwriting in College
2) I am terrified of people in animal costumes
3) I own four cats

I’ll let y’all guess which one is the lie!

Happy Friday Everyone 😀

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 Linking up with Little Friday, The DC Gang, IWYP, and Friday Five (though I have more than 5…sry)