How to Make Friends in Your 20’s

I have such a fun post for y’all today!

Remember Jess? You know, my uber cool friend who somehow still likes me despite my homebody grandma personality? She also wrote here before about Treating Your Self, which if you’re not doing already you need to start Immediately!

Also to answer the wedding questions, no we don’t have a date (but possibly our venue so it’s tbd very soon, eek!) also no I haven’t looked at dresses or caterers or wedding favors or anything else you want to ask me about. Wedding planning is awesome and fun but choosing is hard. First world problems yo….

Anyway, without further ado, take it away Jess!

How to make friends in 20s

Hey Everyone!
It’s been a while since I have written for Kelsey, and to be honest, she asked me to do this in August but I’m such a procrastinator that I didn’t get it done…hence the reason I will never be a real blogger. But anyways, since you’ve last heard from me (a year ago) I have gone from traveling job that had me hopping place to place, to permanent job at an amazing hospital in Seattle, WA. I could not be happier with my decision to land in this city, even with it being so far away from my New England home. Which is what brings us to today’s topic: tips for making new friends in your 20s and beyond.  This can be a hard thing to do, but it is possible, and hopefully this will help!

Disclaimer: I am an extrovert, and kind of pride myself on bringing introverts out of their shells when I can. So if you are an extrovert, these will be tips on how to work it, and for all you introverts, hopefully this will help you feel more comfortable out of your shell.

Focus on your interests

By the time you are 24, most people know what things they are interested in whether it be fitness, reading, outdoor adventures, board games, computer games, dancing, and general debauchery. You at least have an idea of what makes you happy and like to do. And if you like it, I can guarantee that there is someone else out there who likes those things too.  So do your research online, talk about the things you like to do with coworkers, if you see someone doing something you like, go talk to them (if they give you a weird look, who cares, you are just being friendly) Also, I highly recommend the website meetup.com for groups that get together to do said interests.

Say yes

This is my number one go to rule. It’s the most proven (personally at least) way to meet cool people and form amazing friendships. If you get an invitation that sounds interesting, just say yes. Whether it be an invite to a party full of people you may not know, out to a drink with someone you’ve only had a few conversations with before, or for a walk on a nice day (or in the rain too!) just say yes.
Simple right? ( the answer is YES!)

Be yourself

How do you expect to make authentic friendships if you aren’t being your authentic self? This is also a simple one.

Get out there!

Go! Out of your house! Grab someone and go somewhere, or go by yourself. Sit at the bar, eavesdrop and butt into interesting conversations (you know you are listening anyways). Go for a walk or run and stop to pet someone’s dog, social interaction is important. Even if these random encounters don’t go anywhere, they will get you more comfortable with talking to people, I’m looking at you introverts! Even if it’s out of your comfort zone, set a goal for even 1 time a week to get out of the house and do something social.

Use Connections

A friend of a friend could be your next BFF and you just don’t even know it yet. If there’s someone who you think you would hit it off with, don’t be afraid to use you connections, personal or digital, to reach out. I mean come on, I know you are Facebook and Instagram stalking them anyways.

Routine

Did you make a new friend that you want to make sure sticks around? Make dates, see each other, plan things, and then use each other to make even more awesome friends!

Give Zero Craps

Not to be rude here, which I am also not saying you should be, but seriously, the less you stress about what you are doing, or what you look like or are perceived as to other people, the easier it will be to complete any of the other steps. Know that you as you are right now, is an Awesome person, and go share that with the world. If you meet someone and they don’t see it, then it’s their loss.

So those are the general rules, I have been using these a lot recently, and have formed an amazing variety and strong groups of friends in Seattle, in just 7 months. So take the plunge, get yourself out there, and surround yourself with people as amazing as you!

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My Favorite Hashtag

Y’all….

As I was actually posting every day during my October Instagram Challenge last month, I came across my favorite hashtag…..

P.S. I also found out today when I looked that people are still using the #blondetober hashtag which I’m not sure is a compliment or they’re making fun of me? Whatevs, it’s fun to see everyones photos either way lol.

So, it wasn’t until I was posting every day of October (I’ve since backed off a bit, oops) that I realized just how big a mess my life really is by “world” standards. If a hashtag described my life, it’s this one….

#AdultingSoHard

And I mean it in the sense that it’s not true at all……

Read it as if it’s dripping with sarcasm…..big, fat drops of sarcasm…..

Favorite Hashtag

Let me explain…..

I’ve already written about Adult things I don’t understand and y’all assured me that at 26 I’ve got many, many years of not understanding ahead…..  #coolbeans

I also asked a few questions to make sure I wasn’t doing this whole thing wrong. Some said I wasn’t…others said I was… #OhWell

And can we talk about the fact that I like to use hashtags in daily conversation? I should reiterate that I’m 26, not 16…. #sorrynotsorry

Seriously, if it makes me laugh, I’m going to say it even in the middle of a staff meeting….. Well that one may have been one of those “time and place” kinda situations…..but it didn’t stop me….

So back to my favorite Hashtag.

#AdultingSoHard

[Tweet “I’ve found your new favorite hashtag! Join me in the revolution!! #adultingsohard”]

It applies to most situations in my life.

>> Like when I wore visible Hello Kitty tattoos to work for weeks on end….

>> Or that time that some Parents decided that I was old enough to teach their kids soccer…Did I mention that I’ve never played soccer before??

>> Or when I literally took 20 photos of the title photo in a store….

>> Have I mentioned my constant travel companion is a teddy bear? #noshame

>> How about on the weekends instead of showering I just toss a bandanna on my head?

Now, I do have a brand new adult job that requires office supplies and my own office with a lock and everything. I consider myself a pretty big deal now, but I always do that’s nothing new. But despite being the youngest one at the company (that’s FT anyway, we do have PT high schoolers that serve in the dining room) it’s my duty to step up my adulting game.

So that means….

….no more flower crowns ….at work anyway.

….no more PJ’s in the afternoons….except on casual Monday’s  (I don’t work on Mondays, duh)

….time to put away the dragon eggs….

….THIS face is not accetable for my work photo….

….my motto can no longer highlight fairy tale creatures…..

Ya get me?

I’m an adult now!

At least I’m trying……

I really am, I even told JB the other day that it’s finally time for us to grow up….kinda…mostly….a bit…..

So we’re gonna be real adults now and maybe actually kinda abit live an adult life…..

Here’s to trying anyway lol

What’s your favorite hashtag?

Will you join the #adultingsohard revolution with me?

Seriously, let’s all overtake the #adultingsohard feed!

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Small Town Fall Festival

Welcome to Wednesday Friends!

I finally got around to editing my photos from over the weekend. Not because I was too busy to do it of course. I only had a few episodes to go in the final season of Drop Dead Diva which of course took precedence over anything else in my life during my free-time. I’m what you can call a prioritization juggernaut.

Really the fact that I even have photos from that day is a victory. I usually either forget to take pictures, am too shy to ask anyone to take photos for me, or just plain forget my phone at home. It happens more often than I’d like to admit. I think my current record is having to turn back around three times for forgetting something. I’ve really got my ish together ya know?

Fall Festival

I was attempting to show you how awesome the solo cups I DIY’d into pumpkins looked on the trail but when the Sun was up you couldn’t really tell, as it got darker my photos turned out hazy like the one above and you still couldn’t tell, and once it got dark my phone couldn’t get a good photo. So this is what you’re left with…..

I am proud to report that I walked the haunted trail at least 7 times and was only scared for the first few. After that the kids knew when it was me and stopped trying to scare me. The final run through I filmed a few of the creepier scenes and got scared again but ya know, I’m alive and well so it all worked out 😀

So in case those last few sentences were confusing, or y’all just didn’t know, I’m still working a few hours a week at my local YMCA over some of their youth programs which includes the Teen Group aka Leaders Club. I’m the leader of the Leaders Club. So yea, Adulting.

I was also on the committee for the Festival, Though mostly because I had nothing else going on in my life at that point, not because I possess creative prowess. Oh and because there was free pizza at the meetings….thumbs up!

My portion didn’t happen until that night though so I convinced JB to come with me and invited his sister and family. We missed out on the hot air balloon rides by the time we got there but rumor had it that it was a bit too windy anyway so not many people go to do that.

I think the bets part was watching JB’s niece run around after the mascots. Here she is meeting one of her heros. No warm hugs were given though, she got scared as soon as Olaf got too close for comfort. Comfort levels are a bit different when you’re only  2 feet tall I guess. I wouldn’t know, I’ve always been at least 5 feet tall, just look at my awkward elementary school photos…..

Ty and Olaf

As obsessed as she is with Frozen (specifically Elsa), Elmo was probably her favorite. It took about 7 encounters before she would actually give him a high five and then two more for a hug, but when you spend an entire hour following him around, it wasn’t hard to “run” into him.

Also I don’t know if you can tell but she’s wearing an Elsa dress under her dinosaur hoodie. That kids got style and she’s already cooler than me.

She also went in a few of the bouncy houses and tossed some rings at the carnival games. At one point we (TY and I) challenged “Uncle” (JB) to a relay race and I thought I was gonna eat dirt after the dizzy bat portion. JB’s Brother in Law got it all on film but I have yet to see it so until I can, you don’t get that hilarious video of 6’5 JB racing 2ft tall Ty as I tip-toe behind her on the balance beam.

Our last stop was the pumpkin patch of course. Scratch that, Ty rode a pony and cried when she had to get off, but happy again when she got to pick out a pumpkin and leave with a goody bag. I think her dad was more excited though because he immediately pulled out a DumDum and ate it. That’s called Parenting done right.

Ty and Pumpkin

The pony ride definitely got the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. I think we all know what she’ll be asking for for the next decade of her life. You’re welcome for introducing that to her 😉

I did snap some “family” photos of everyone too but since she’s not my kid I don’t like sharing too much of her here. Judging from these photos, just the back of her head is. If you were to steal my phone and look through my picture roll you’d think she was my kid though. Or you’d think I was a creeper, which JB says I am so I’ll let you make up you own mind about what to call me.

I’m just gonna leave you with this photo that near about melted my heart to see….

JB and Ty

Seriously a kid and her Uncle may be the cutest thing ever, second only to a Dad and his little girl. specifically if that dad is my husband and the daughter is mine. I imagine that’s a pretty heart melt-y moment.

Have you been to a Fall Festival in your area yet?

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The Spirit of Treat Yo Self

Happy Thursday Friends!

Somehow we’ve made it to Thursday, despite Mother Nature’s vindictive ways. I’m calling it Snow Break minus the fun of a real break and instead being trapped inside your apartment b/c your management won’t plow the parking lot and your car can’t get up the hill….But that’s a story for another time…..

I have a very special guest for y’all today. She’s one of my only Massachusetts friends so please be nice to her. I can’t afford to lose any….no but seriously, I can’t. Besides JB, she’s it. I wish I was kidding…..

But ignore my silent laments at my social life, here’s Jess! She’s got the perfect outlook on loving yourself first and foremost! Something we all know I have no trouble with 😉

Treat Yo Self

Hello Everyone! My name is Jess. I am a fellow blonde, so the hair color perspective will be the same here. This is my first blog post and Kelsey has so graciously lent me the platform I needed to share my thoughts with everyone, so here we go!

Every year during this time of year (Valentine’s Day) I always have the same thoughts, so I’ve decided to write them down this time. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Here’s another cynical person who is going to complain about the corporations, or being lonely, etc.” And I promise I am not a cynic, Valentine’s Day has just never really been a big deal to me, single or not.

If I’m being perfectly honest, I’m pretty sure I can attribute these feelings from when I was 9 years old. That year, my Mom got me Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone and from then on, no other present could ever compare. So why even set myself or someone else up for disappointment? Harry Potter is the O.V. (Original Valentine)

So how do I prefer to spend this day that’s devoted to appreciating the one who you love the most? By appreciating the one that I SHOULD love the most, but sometimes forget…ME!

Text Convo

This is why Kelsey is allowing my to get this to her after Valentine’s Day, because this can really be applicable to any time of the year. Valentine’s Day is just my personal Treat Yo Self Day (this year was my second annual)

Slight background if you’ve never seen Parks & Rec. Two characters, Donna and Tom, go out and spoil the crap out of themselves. If they every question whether then should do something or not, they simply say “Treat Yo Self” and go ahead and do it!

TreatYoSelf

In general, I consider myself a pretty unselfish person. I chose a career that is all about helping others and even in my daily life I like to make other’s happy. So this day is a day I get to make it ALL ABOUT ME! Now, Treat Yo Self Day can be done with others, but I prefer to do it alone as much as possible. This year it was pretty easy because I live alone in a new place.

Here’s what I did this year:

  1. I slept in….simple enough
  2. I went to my favorite coffee shop and got a large Almond Joy Mocha because #treatyoself
  3. Drove 2 hours to go skiing (skiing is my absolute favorite thing to in the whole world)
  4. The afternoon proceeded with a few apres ski beers, a long hot shower, and general relaxation
  5. Then dinner!

Now, as a girl in her mid-20’s, this is something I find that I’m usually the minority with….and ladies….THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE!! For dinner (on Valentine’s Day don’t forget) I went to a restaurant, sat at the bar, and ordered a delicious meal (app included) of bacon wrapped figs, New York sirloin with asparagus and mashed potatoes, topped off with two glasses of red wine. I ended the night with my favorite chocolate, another glass of wine, and Harry Potter (he’s the O.V. remember)

Steak Dinner

Treat Yo’Self Day in a nutshell is for taking the time to remember you love yourself the most! Do you want flowers? Send yourself some flowers! Do you really want to see that one movie but can’t get anyone to go with you? GO BY YOURSELF! Craving Mexican food? Go and get it! Get a massage or a pedicure, go shopping or hiking, or even pay for that yoga class you’ve been dying to try.

Take the time to give yourself everything you need to remember how awesome you are. We all have those bad days, weeks, or months where we need a reminder, and the best person to bring you back up is YOU!

YOU ARE AWESOME so TREAT YO SELF!!

[Tweet “It’s time to #treatyoself ladies! “]

Isn’t she just the best? I really lucked out by meeting her. I seriously look up to her as an inspiration of being independent and fearless (my word!)

If you’d like to follow along with her be sure to check out her Instagram. Maybe one of these days she’ll jump in the blogging ring as well, who knows!

Now tell us your thoughts on Treat Yo Self Day?

Sig

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Linkin up with Thinkin Out Loud Treat Yo’ Self Thursday

Letter to My Younger Self

Today marks my half birthday. And yes I am that girl that celebrates her half birthday. It’s the little things in life. Also one of my best friends’ Actual birthday (Happy BIrthday Bex!) is today so really it’s celebrating her birthday and I just pretend in my head.

Anyway, today makes me exactly 25.5 years old which qualifies me for a mid-twenty crisis right? I’m still working on what type of crisis I’d like. The whole still single thing is kinda a drag but I suppose there are worse things in life then not being bound by the government in a relationship…..Anywho-zell….

I decided to do the very Blogger thing of writing my younger self a letter…..

Letter to my Younger Self

Dear 15 yr old Kelsey,

It’s me…Older Kelsey. Don’t question the mechanics of how this is happening just go with it. I wanted to drop in and give you some wisdom I’ve learned these past ten years. First and foremost, most boys will grow and catch up to your height and some lucky gents will even surpass you! No sorry, you’re still single but there will be some boyfriends between then and now. I wish I could tell you which ones to steer clear of, but then you wouldn’t become the strong independent lady you need to be.

Some heartbreaks do lead to better things, as crappy and vague as that sounds. I get it, I’ve had time to deal and you’ve yet to experience it, so just grab tight onto the person you know you are and don’t let any of them derail you. (Spoiler alert: you won’t)

Also, keep that ambition and drive, it’ll take you to some pretty great places. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. The worst that can happen is they say no, in which case you’re no worse off than you already were. Keep knocking and eventually the right doors will open.

When it comes to your friends, just remember that some people aren’t meant to be in your life forever. The sooner you learn to let go, the more tears you’ll save yourself. Those that do stick around, despite all the miles you seem to put between you, are gonna be around for life. And don’t forget the friends that may not be the best at keepin in touch until you see them in person again. It’s ok, life happens and you can’t expect everyone to respond to your texts…well you can expect it, but I’m just tellin you now you’re just settin yourself up. Those friendships fall right back into place when you see them though so don’t fret over it too much.

Finally, remember that family is everything. Cherish the time you have with them now because once you leave for college you’ll go long stretches of time without seeing them and they seemingly scatter all over the country in a matter of years…scratch that, you’re the only one to hop all across the country (you become a wanderer) and homesickness is a real thing.

Sincerely,

More Confident and Future Kelsey

I’m so grateful for my life and the struggles I’ve been through. Weird but true, because it’s made me the person I am now 🙂

Have you ever looked back over your life and seen how you’ve grown and changed?

Sig

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Linkin up with Grateful Heart

Reasons I Haven’t Hit Big Blogger Status {Part 2}

Happy Friday Everyone!

After sharing all my freelance work with y’all and bragging about my awesome snow yoga this week, I felt it only appropriate to poke a little fun at myself and this weird thing we do called blogging.

Remember that time I wrote about why I hadn’t hit big blogger status yet? And then that other time when a monthly link-up called the Secret Blogger Club was created b/c of it? I thought those two things alone would instantly propel me to rockstar status…..sadly this was not the case, and I was forced to take a harder look at my Blogger-soul….

These are 5 more reasons I’ve decided I haven’t become a Bigger Blogger……..yet.

reasons i haven't hit big blogger status yet

>> 1. I Don’t Have Any Haters. Well none that I know of, so will the real haters please stand up…..and exit the building b/c I’m plenty happy not hearing from you. Since I’ve started contributing to a large site like Run Haven, I’ve definitely read mean comments on things I’ve written, but as of yet, the garbage trolls haven’t migrated over to my lovely space. I’m ok to keep it that way too.

Although with my Quest post getting so much attention I’m definitely working on this status maker. Maybe one day I’ll have my own fan club!

>> 2. I Don’t Have Professional Photos. And by professional I mean someone to take my photos for me……Refer to this fashion blogger post if you will. I’m thinking if anything this one needs to change but probably won’t (at least for a long time). Have you ever noticed many bigger bloggers have these cool photos of them looking flawless? Usually in a really cute outfit looking over their shoulder, or effortlessly laughing into the camera…Yea, I’m not that girl even when I try really hard..case and point? You can click here for some reasons I’m not “cool,” as if you really needed any more.

Now all I need to do is snag a man I can bribe into taking my pictures…..hmmmm…..

peeking at the camera

>> 3. I Don’t Frequent Brunch. This is actually one I’d love to change. Brunch just sounds cool, right? If you don’t “brunch” you must just be extremely uncool. Welcome to the club….. I’m gonna blame it on the fact that I don’t live in a big city with a hundred new brunch spots to try every weekend. Also I have no friends in which to attend brunch with, so there’s that…

Ok fine, the “no friends” thing really isn’t true….I have friends, I’m just an Ambivert remember…Please someone help me with this….

[Tweet “I may not be a big blogger but my friends are many 🙂 #bloggersgetsocial”]

>> 4. I Don’t Have a Ba-jillion* Giveaways . (*technical term) Not that there’s anything wrong with a giveaway. Lord knows I’ve done a few myself (and have a few coming up don’t worry). I’m talking about that blogger that is in literally Every. Single. group giveaway you come across. But hey it works, so actually I need to step up my game on this one…or my budget….oh wait, I’m poor….

>> 5. I Don’t Use GIFs. Beyond the occasional Vine video that just really tickles my fancy, (case in point here and here) my blog isn’t too animated. I enjoy gifs on other’s blogs, it’s just not my style. With the short attention span of people these days maybe I’m just not shiny enough, who knows. Maybe if I used more glitter…or gold, gold seems to be what the cool ladies like.

The longer I’m in this blogging game the more I realize I’ll just never be at the top, and that’s ok. I love my space and I love the people that come here to laugh along with me.

Besides, if I made it big, who would make fun of them? (I joke because I care 😉 )

What other trends do you see in the “Bigger” Bloggers?

Blog on friends!

Sig

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Linkin up with Little Friday 

The Survival Guide to No Cell Service

Happy MLK Day!

I’m actually not sure if today is the kind of holiday you wish people well or if I should have started this post out with a somber hello of respect….or possibly not posted today at all….Not quite sure what the etiquette is on that so we’re pushin on like it’s a normal (but still very respected) Monday.

I would say I got plenty of sympathy messages about my past week living with no cell service, but I had no cell service to receive said messages so I’m sure they just got lost in the atmosphere or however cellphones work b/c I know everyone was extremely worried about me. The most frustrating part was I wasn’t even in the middle of nowhere. Bowling freakin Green, Kentucky has a University for crying out loud! And a Wal-Mart! While institutions of higher education may set up shop in the backcountry, Wal-Marts do not.

I’ve been told that Kentucky is AT&T country but that’s dumb b/c I know Verizon has a more filled in U.S. map with 5x more coverage so what do they know. “They” apparently know that KY actually IS AT&T country and Verizon is a big fat red dot liar!

No Service Survival Guide

Before we get going can we just acknowledge that my lock screen contains the face of an angel? I didn’t mind checking my phone for service every 15 seconds just to see those dimples…….

Since I am the only survivor of the terrible No Cell Service Crisis of 2015 I’ve written a little guide, since that’s what survivors of things do….write books…. So the next time you find yourself with no cell service for three days in the modern world (not by choice of course) you can refer to my quick guide. Actually no cell service means no data usage so you should probably print this off for the most certain and imminent occasion that this will happen to you….

1. Panic.

This is most certainly Armageddon and you weren’t taken by the Rapture you naughty thing you and the Zombies are coming for you.

2. Run.

This step is only if you see a Zombie. If no Zombies are in sight yet then you’re still safe at the moment and can continue to #3.

3. Commence Denial.

This is a very handy emotional blanket in the event of seeing the number on the scale, no one liking your instagram photos, and being single in your 20’s . Or in this case having on cell service. It’s 2015 Kentucky, get your head out of the Antebellum Age and get some more cell towers in your “major” cities. (*Note: Bowling Green is actually only the third largest city in KY (true fact) but considering the horses out number all residents of the state anyway this isn’t saying much) (**Second Note: I made up that last stat)

[Tweet “How to Survive with No Cell Service #yesthisreallyhappens”]

4. Receive a Sore Thumb.

From checking your phone so often of course. Seriously I think I sprained it from clicking the home button to light up the screen so often! This might be the Universe’s way of telling to start lifting again, but gosh darn it cardio is just way more fun! (I realize most people do Not find cardio all that fun but I find it much more engaging then picking things up and putting them back down. It’s seems rather counter-intuitive to me, call me crazy)

5. Resign to Your Misfortune.

You my friend must have really offended the Big Guy upstairs because I’m pretty sure that’s how cell service works. On the off-chance that you still have internet privileges be sure to send an email letting your Mother know you’re ok. She’s probably the only one who’s going to notice your fall from the face of the planet anyway so it’s just the polite thing to do. If you have no internet either then settle on in for the long haul, someone will come looking for you after you’ve been missing for 24-hrs or you start to smell, but that last one may be for a dead body….I’m getting my CSI episodes mixed up….

Obviously I jest, not having cell phone service for three days, while frustrating and inconvenient, isn’t the worst thing that could ever happen. It could have been Four! Gasp!

Has anything like this even happened to you?

Sig

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Linkin up with Weekending, Two for Tuesdays, & MIMM